BDSM & Kink - 24 questions
A BDSM and kink checklist for couples, rated yes, no, or maybe
Last reviewed: September 2026
BDSM & Kink is a 24-question category functioning as a kink checklist - power exchange, sensation, restraint, and roleplay, each rated on its own. You and your partner answer privately, and a match only appears once you've both said yes to the same specific item.
What's in the BDSM & Kink category
Expect questions about power exchange and control dynamics, light impact or sensation play, restraint, roleplay accessories, and exploring temperature or other sensation. It's the category with the most range in intensity - some questions are a gentle first step into this territory, others assume more familiarity with it.
Why a checklist works better than a single "are you into kink?" conversation
Kink covers a lot of ground, and a single broad question about it tends to get a single broad answer that hides most of the actual detail. One partner might be curious about power exchange but have no interest in restraint, or the reverse - a broad conversation rarely surfaces that kind of specificity, while 24 separately-rated items reliably do.
Rating item by item also means neither partner has to declare a general identity or interest level out loud before knowing whether the other shares it. You can be curious about one thing and firmly not about another, with no pressure to reconcile the two into a single answer.
Talking about your matches, consent, and pacing
A mutual yes here tells you there's shared interest - it isn't a plan. Before acting on any match in this category, talk through what you're each comfortable with in practice, agree on a safe word or a way to pause, and plan for aftercare, the same way you would for any BDSM activity regardless of how you found the shared interest.
Go slowly, especially with anything neither of you has tried. A maybe is a genuinely useful answer in this category - curiosity and readiness aren't the same thing, and it's fine to sit with an idea before deciding.
Where to go next
BDSM & Kink pairs naturally with Sex Toys for restraint and sensation accessories, and with Erotic Content if roleplay or a favorite scene is part of the appeal. See the full question library, or try the free taster quiz for a sample from every category, no account required. For more on the format itself, see our guide on sex surveys for couples.
Frequently asked questions
What does the BDSM & Kink category cover?
24 questions on power exchange and control dynamics, light impact or sensation play, restraint, roleplay accessories, and temperature or sensation exploration - functioning as a kink checklist you each rate privately.
Is this the same as a formal "kink test"?
It works similarly - rating individual items rather than answering personality-style questions - but the output is a specific list of mutual matches, not a score or a label.
Do we need any experience with BDSM to answer these questions?
No. You're rating curiosity and interest, not experience - many questions are aimed at couples exploring this territory for the first time.
How does consent and safety fit into a match here?
A mutual yes on YesList reflects shared interest, not a plan with agreed rules. Before acting on any match in this category, talk through boundaries, a safe word, and aftercare together, the same as you would with any BDSM activity.
What if my partner is much more interested in this category than I am?
That's common, and completely fine - answer honestly, item by item. A category-wide mismatch doesn't need to be resolved; individual matches, if any, are still real and worth discussing on their own.