Guide
Things to try with your partner
Last reviewed: September 2026
"Things to try" is one of the most common searches couples run when a relationship feels ready for something new, but a generic list of ideas only gets you so far - the ideas that actually matter are the ones you and your partner are both genuinely curious about. Here's how to think about where to start, organized by category, plus a private way to find your actual matches instead of guessing.
Start with romance and connection
For a lot of couples, the lowest-pressure place to start is also the most overlooked - unhurried, connection-focused ideas like slow dancing, extended aftercare, love notes, or simply making time to be close without a specific goal attached. These ideas tend to have wide appeal and are easy to bring up, making them a good warm-up category before moving into anything more specific. See the Romance category for the full list.
Expand what foreplay looks like
Foreplay is the category with the most range - massage, extended build-up, trying new pacing, or simply spending more unhurried time before anything else happens. Because it covers so much ground, it's often where couples find the most new matches simply because they hadn't previously thought to rate some of the smaller, easy-to-add ideas within it. See the Foreplay category for specifics.
Change the setting
Sometimes the idea worth trying isn't a new activity at all - it's a new place or time. Different rooms, a change of location, our outside your usual routine can shift the whole experience without changing what you're actually doing. See the Location Play category for ideas along these lines.
Get specific about positions and pacing
Rather than a vague sense of wanting "more variety," rating specific positions individually tends to surface much more precise, actionable matches - one partner might be highly interested in something the other assumed wouldn't appeal to them at all. See the Positions category and the Intercourse category for the full breakdown.
Consider toys, kink, or content together
For couples ready to explore further, sex toys, kink and power-exchange dynamics, and watching content together are all common areas where one partner assumes the other has no interest, purely because it's rarely brought up directly. Rating these privately tends to surface more shared curiosity than either partner expected. See the Sex Toys and BDSM & Kink categories to browse specifics.
Find your actual matches
The fastest way to skip the guesswork on any of this is a private, side-by-side comparison: you and your partner each rate your interest independently, and only mutual yeses come back. See our full guide on sex surveys for couples, browse the full question library across all ten categories, or try the free taster quiz for a sample from each - no account required to look.
Frequently asked
Where should we start if we don't know what we're looking for?
Romance and foreplay are the most approachable starting categories for most couples - lower stakes, broad appeal, and a good way to get used to the format before moving into more specific categories.
What if we're not sure we're both interested in the same things?
That's exactly what a private comparison is for - rating interest independently surfaces real overlap without either partner having to guess or ask first.
Do we need to try everything on a list?
No. The goal is finding a handful of genuine matches to focus on, not working through an entire category - a short, honest list of shared interests is more useful than a long list neither of you is excited about.
How often should we revisit ideas to try?
There's no fixed schedule - many couples come back every few months, or whenever something new comes to mind. Interests shift over time, so revisiting occasionally tends to surface new matches.